1991-04-08 Florence, Italy / Love Affair / Liebesaffäre / Caso de Amor / Asunto de Amor

Did I really love my affair? Did my affair truly love me? Was the affair real or fantasy? Maybe, but not likely. It certainly felt like Love. Simply caught up in the illusion of Love.

Love within the context of infidelity is an encounter between a person (the object of desire) and an experience (the passion of eros). It can leave one intoxicated with emotion and result in one of the most destructive mistakes a Human can make.

You believe you must have that person in order to have that experience. You confuse that person for an emotional experience and try to translate that experience into something real. It is not real.

You risk almost anything to legitimize the affair, you call it Love.

Love, here, is a personally constructed narrative story which you create and need for the story to be true. So much depends upon your belief that the affair is real.

The possibility of true Love, the justification for destroying families, leaving spouses, children, jobs and friends – all must be justified with legitimacy and purpose. Otherwise, those of us in a Love affair are nothing but hedonistic idiots.

So you have a huge capacity to convince yourself that it was real. If you did not, how could you live with yourself. It is often only after the Love affair is over that you fully realize the truth of what you did and why you did it. The stage is set for grandiosity and narcissistic self-indulgence.

All manner of illogical and nonsensical choices are made. You are in pursuit of a valid Human need, yet, you are moving toward your fated demise. The experience can never deliver the illusion you seduce yourself to believe.

A Love affair is the attempt to legitimize an illusion. A Love affair is an illusion, based on a lie, fueled by fantasy, protected by self-justification, insecurity and ego.

Devotion and loyalty are essential to every relationship we have in life that matters – friendship, family, community, country, faith. The devoted and loyal person acts for and stays with and remains committed even when it can be personally disadvantageous or costly for the person to do so.

Devotion and loyalty means unconditional allegiance in what you do. It is in your mind and in your heart. Devotion and loyalty can be demanding and involve sacrifice. Devotion and loyalty is a form of Love. It is directed to another person or cause.

You can buy a person’s time; you can buy their physical presence; you can even buy a number of their skills. But you can not buy enthusiasm, you can not buy devotion and loyalty.

You can not buy the devotion of hearts, minds, or souls. Devotion and loyalty lead to bravery. Bravery leads to the spirit of self-sacrifice. The spirit of self-sacrifice creates trust in the power of Love.

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