There is not a word for what you are trying to explain. You feel more than you have the language to articulate and express, which is frustrating. You work through emotions, being able to identify them and use them as signals. A lot of the time, you are left in the dark.
A feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your Awareness – to the extent you have to keep reminding yourself that it happened at all, even though it felt so vivid just days ago.
A moment of Awareness of someone you have known for years and still has a mysterious inner life, and somewhere is a door locked from the inside, and neither of you has a map, or a master key, or any way of knowing exactly where you stand.
A conversation in which everyone is talking but nobody is listening, simply overlaying disconnected words, borrowing bits of other anecdotes as a way to increase your own score, until you run out of things to say.
Bittersweet experiences, which could be crucial to your growth and overall flourishing.
Natsukashii (Japanese) – a nostalgic longing for the past, with happiness for the fond memory, yet sadness that it is no longer
Wabi-sabi (Japanese) – a dark, desolate sublimity centred on transience and imperfection in beauty
Saudade (Portuguese) – a melancholic longing or nostalgia for a person, place or thing that is far away either spatially or in time – a vague, dreaming wistfulness for phenomena that may not even exist
Sehnsucht (German) – life-longings, an intense desire for alternative states and realisations of life, even if they are unattainable