You create a relationship to fulfil your needs and desires through the other. The very foundation being built on the feeling of ‘I am incomplete’. This can at best be described as an arrangement of seeking yourself in the other.
Through the ages, people have been unhappy in their relationships. Speak to any father, he complains about his children. Speak to any husband or any wife, they have complaints for each other.
As long as they are being diplomatic, they will keep up a very sound face, a beaming smile and a false story to explain their happiness. We are happy to live in delusions and we are happier when we present these delusions as reality to others.
Try to understand that the whole idea of a relationship begins from that point when you have already established a sound, beautiful and dynamic rapport with your own Self. You are bothered about others but you are not worried about your own Self.
You ask yourself how can you have a healthy relationship with others; but the question should be how can you have a sound relationship with yourself. A person who is himself lost can not give directions to others.
If you do not understand your own Self, you will not be able understand anyone who is around you.
The basic thing is that for the person who has known the real Self, the term ‘other’ no longer exists; there is no one other left.
Whoever he sees, talks to, meets, communicates, that person will never be the other, as every other person has now become his own reflection.
If you stand in front of a mirror, you see your own face. What do you see, when you look into people’s eyes?
As you are hiding your own true Self and living a false life, so is the other person. So, these two false personalities will never gel, will never have a communion, and will never have a heart-to-heart relationship.
What they will have is just a communication and in these times of great scientific inventions, we do not have to be in front of one another, e-mail will do all the work and SMS will do the rest.
You need to understand that till the time you are not deeply involved with your own inner being, unless you are not established in your own true identity, unless you do not know who you really are, how can you enjoy?
No one enjoys one’s own company – that is why we are always looking for a friend, for someone on whom we can release our tensions and pressures.
You need to talk all the time, you need a shoulder upon which you can cry, you need a set of ears in which you can fill up all of your garbage.
When you are seeking a relationship, at that time, you are a beggar and beggars can not be givers. When two beggars sit together none of them will become rich: zero plus zero is always going to be zero.
If you are a beggar because you were seeking happiness from the other and the other has come to you with the same expectation, there is bound to be a clash.
When you are in your true Self, you are in the right position to have a sound relationship with anyone from Human beings to animals. Then you do not have to do anything to love anyone because then Love emanates from you, Love oozes out from you.
You do not have to think of speaking sweet words; this sweetness simply and without effort comes out from within you.
And when you do nt consciously do anything for others, then wherever you go, the flowers will bloom, the cuckoos will sing and the joyousness will follow you like a shadow.
Wherever you are, you will spread such freshness that everyone would want to be with you.