In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play – Friedrich Nietzsche
Many people say that men never truly grow up. A boy gets to play; a man does not. Men do not grow up until they are 43 – a full 11 years after women. Men are immature at least into their late 30’s and early 40’s.
Men actually never stop being childish. Men live to have fun. Men find farting funny, burping hilarious, driving too fast challenging, playing video games educational and wearing cartoon pyjamas a status symbol.
Men refuse to grow up and can be hopelessly irresponsible, emotionally stunted and uncomfortable with negative emotions. Sometimes they can even be rude, narcissistic, and chauvinistic.
Some psychologists identify these men as suffering from the Peter Pan Syndrome. Named after the lovable fairy tale character, he wanted to stay young and childlike forever. He reminds us all of everlasting youth, fun spiritedness, and the importance of play.
As an adolescent, you shed childhood potential to become the limited but specialized and potentially useful thing that you will become.
And so you might say ‘Well, is it worth it, is it worth shedding that potential?’. And Peter Pan’s answer to that is ‘No’, he wants to remain in Neverland as a magical boy forever.
And he is the king of the Lost Boys. It is like you are king of the losers, so to speak, people who cannot get their act together and mature.
The Peter Pan syndrome is very appealing even to women. Women are the grown up in the relationship. Women make all the important decisions in the relationship.
Women have to tell their man to act his age more than once a month. Still, immaturity is important in keeping relationships fun and fresh and helps bonding with kids.
Inside each of us there is an inner child. Our inner child lives in our unconscious mind and influences how we make choices, respond to challenges, and live our lives.
As a child, you believed that you needed to accomplish goals, get good grades, make the team, step into footsteps, be lovable. Love is the key to healing, so give it to yourself.