Before you tell your life what you intend to do with it, listen for what it intends to do with you. Before you tell your life what truths and values you have decided to live up to, let your life tell you what truths you embody, what values you represent.
Vocation does not mean a goal that you pursue. It means a calling that you hear. Before you can tell your life what you want to do with it, you must listen to your life telling you who you are. You must listen for the truths and values of your own identity, not the standards by which you must live, the standards by which you can not help but live if you are living your own life.
The concept of vocation is rooted in the belief that the sinful Self will always be self-ish unless corrected by external forces of virtue. It is a notion that makes you feel inadequate to the task of living your own life, creating guilt about the distance between who you are and who you are supposed to be, leaving you exhausted as you work to close the gap.
Vocation is not a goal to be achieved but a gift to be received. Discovering vocation does not mean scrambling toward some prize beyond your reach but accepting the treasure of true Self you already possess. Vocation does not come from a voice ‘out there’ calling you to become something you are not. It comes from a voice ‘in here’ calling you to be the person you were born to be.
Listen to your life when it speaks to you.
The soul is like a wild animal – tough, resilient, savvy, self-sufficient, and yet exceedingly shy. If you want to see a wild animal, the last thing you should do is go crashing through the woods, shouting for the creature to come out. If you are willing to walk quietly into the woods and sit silently for an hour or two, the creature you are waiting for may well emerge, and out of the corner of an eye you will catch a glimpse of the precious wildness you seek.