Your mind is a battlefield where you are constantly fighting battles. You are constantly fighting your worries, anxious thoughts, problems, mistakes, and failures instead of letting them go. Battles may be lost – but you must win the war! Win with the wisdom your superior alliance gives rather than lose with your personal logic.
You are fighting a war with yourself for no reason. Who you are and who you want to be, have become two sides of a river. But your instincts are not a fool. A voice in your head is telling you to own your flaws and beauties. Discard these conflicts and stop pulling yourself in different directions.
Your mind is out of control. Your mind does not like this – it is not what you were expecting! You are not in control of your thinking. Your mind wanders away without you knowing it. You have an Awareness of the topic you are thinking about, so you are not unaware. However you are lost in the topic.
Once you can rest in just being still, there is a peace that arises. When you sit, let things settle and allow your discordant Self with its ungenuineness and unnaturalness to disolve, out of that rises your real being. You experience an aspect of yourself which is more genuine and more authentic – the real you.
One of the fundamental points of winning the spiritual war is to persevere along the battles. Though the battles may be won one day and lost the next, like changes in scenery, essentially it is not the experiences, win or loose which count so much, but rather that you persevere, the real practice rubs off on you and comes through both victory and deafeat.
If you persevere and have that sky like attitude of spaciousness, without being perturbed by emotions and experiences, you will develop stability and start winning the war and calm your mind. You will find that gradually and almost unnoticed, your attitude begins to change.
You do not hold on to thoughts as solidly as before, and though crisis will still happen, you can handle them a bit better with more humor and ease. You will even be able to laugh, since there is more space between you and them, and you are freer of yourself. Things become less solid, slightly ridiculous, and you become more lighthearted.