Shame is powerful and can be extremely toxic. When you shame someone it is deeper than words. It cuts to the soul and feels like death.
A painful emotion caused by the belief that one is, or is perceived by others to be, inferior or unworthy of affection or respect because of one’s actions, thoughts, circumstances, experiences. A condition of disgrace or dishonor.
Shame addresses who you are, not what you do. Who you are and what you do are related but they are not the same.
Shame attacks your value as a person and says there is no coming back from this, no recovery from this, no hope, you are bad, worthless and deserve to die.
Conveying this message to anyone is destructive and hateful. Shame is judgement without mercy.
The key to it all is the heart. When guilt has been admitted along with the willingness to take responsibility there are times for mercy.
We all make mistakes – mistakes are things you do, not who you are.
You can change and that will affect your behavior. Grace, mercy and forgiveness go a long way in building character in the soul.