Why would you carry around a pervasive feeling of being out-of-place. Of not fitting in. Of being on the outside, looking in. Especially when among people who love you.
Yet, for you it is a difficult to identify, difficult to name feeling; yet it holds tremendous power over you. It makes it hard for you to go to a social gathering, and difficult to stay very long.
Perhaps you get irritable when you are around other people and you are not sure why. Perhaps you are good at putting on a show to look like you are having fun, but only you know that actually, you are not.
Perhaps you are actually looking around at other people laughing and talking and appearing comfortable, and wondering what you are missing.
You need your emotions. Emotion connects you to other people. When your emotions are pushed away, it is hard to feel the emotional connection that binds people together.
It is even harder to experience the spontaneous, happy synergy that occurs when people are truly fully present with each other.
I feel like I am on the outside, looking in
Whoever I am with, I do not feel I fit in
I look fine, but I do not feel fine