‘Do not cry, there is nothing to be sad about.’ You are taught that you should try to avoid unpleasant emotions at all costs.
But the primary impulse when you are experiencing unpleasant emotions is to try to escape from those feelings and sometimes through alcohol, drugs, restricting food, excessive business, compulsive sex, or other self-harming behaviors.
You can not numb your emotions. Using negative, self-harming behaviors to avoid your feelings may help you experience less sadness and anger, but they stop you from feeling happiness and joy.
The amazing thing about being Human is that you are able to have emotions.
Experiencing sadness and hurt is what makes it so incredible to feel joy and happiness. Think of your feelings as waves in the ocean. They come and go, rise and fall. No feeling lasts forever; anger and sadness are necessary, helpful parts of the Human experience.
Fighting your feelings leads to more suffering. Using negative behaviors to numb your feelings makes you feel better temporarily, but they do not fix the problem. It causes you to feel even worse in the long term.
Rather than trying to suppress your feelings, be a mindful observer of them. Your emotions are messages that signal something important that you need to pay attention to.
Anyone with an eating disorder, addiction, workaholism, or sex addiction can tell you that constantly running from your emotions is exhausting. You prevent yourself from living a full and meaningful life.
Hurt, frustration, pain, sadness, and anger are all natural parts of the Human experience. Living a full life is feeling all of your emotions, pleasant and unpleasant.
It is joy, it is your heart full of gratitude during some moments; it is heartbreak and disappointment during other moments.